Random question, yes. But here’s the explanation: GQ’s NBA guest blogger for the season, power forward Nick Collison, just did a playoff mailbag, soliciting questions from his Twitter followers, and this question was far and away the best. Because Nick is a good and honest fellow, he tackled the question head on. Here’s his answer below. Click here for the rest of his mailbag.
@IamAinsleyHayes Which teammates would survive a zombie apocalypse, and which ones wouldn’t?
I think most of us would. We are used to running and pushing through fatigue. We are used to being in stressful situations together, and we have each others’ backs. Sadly, however, I think we would lose a couple guys. Take, for instance, Reggie Jackson, our rookie, who cannot seem to stay awake for any extended period of time and passes out on all flights within five minutes, as he did here with Serge Ibaka and Cole Aldrich.
I fear Reggie would doze off somewhere and the zombies would get to him. I think Kendrick Perkins would be OK at first, but eventually he would look at a zombie and not like the way the zombie was looking at him. If you know Perk the way I know Perk, you know he wouldn’t be able to resist getting face to face with the zombie and letting him know he doesn’t play. He could fight off a few of the zombies, but eventually there would be too many, and I’m worried he wouldn’t make it. Meanwhile, James Harden would definitely survive, because a zombie is not going to want to get any of that beard in his throat while trying to eat his brain.